Sedona Update - May 2009
And the journey continues... I just realized as I write this that it has been exactly a year since I wrote my last Sedona Chronicle. Life is funny and full of changes. What I have learned from being in Sedona is that Sedona would rather have me move around, then stay in one place. When I was called here to help balance the land, the spirits weren't kidding. Little did I know that was going to mean, moving around a lot for me. To be clear, it would mean, moving houses.
Onto house number three - But first I will back paddle a bit. Last May, I was in bliss in my house in Pine Valley with it's 3 feminine vortices on the land. A very peaceful place. I would literally walk down the pine hard wood floor hallway with the sun shining its beams in front of me, and just breathe sighs of relief. I felt so rested and I guess I needed it - decompressing from California Bay Area lifestyle. I had manifested this amazing living situation and was in gratitude every day.
In June, on the way back from taking my daughter to the airport for her visit to California, my transmission blew up in my jeep. Not to worry though, I was without a car and decided to see how life would unfold. I rode my mountain bike for a while until the heat began to take it's toll on me. But even so, I was grateful every day. I remember this one day I was riding back from the gym and just saying how grateful I was for my life and my house and my daughter and every experience I had been through that had brought me here. I was saying to the sky, " my Universe provides" and just then this feather fell out of the sky and landed right on me while I was riding on my street. It was a hawk feather, which is so significant to me because it is one of my key animal totems. Hawk medicine has always been a guiding force in my life and is medicine I hold that I offer to others. It is the gift of the messenger. As well, feathers are one of my most favorite items. Very special and powerful to me. So here came this hawk feather down on me and I felt such bliss. As moments go, this was a good one. I felt so full. I mention this because in gratitude and conscious relationship with the Divine, life takes on a sublime quality and weans us from addiction to the mundane. I eventually gave that feather to a friend to help them with their journey and remind them of their own guidance assisted by the medicine of hawk.
After a short bit, I was considering buying a car or fixing my jeep. I needed wheels and riding my mountain bike in the heat was getting challenging with groceries etc. I had to rely on people to drive me places and although I was grateful, I am a bit too independent to be dependent on anyone. I was musing about my next step in the area of transportation and I found myself at a garage sale . Low and behold there was a shiny, red, Honda Nighthawk 250 motorcycle. The person manning the garage sale was not planning on selling it per se, but he ended up selling it to me. I studied for my learners permit, had another friend teach me to ride and freedom came on the wind. Even though Arizona does not have a helmet law, I rode with one anyway and had a good two months being a motorcycle mama. I had always wanted the guy in my life to show up with a motorcycle, but instead I got one for myself. And it felt great! Moving on...
Eventually, I had to get a car to pick up my daughter in Cali and be available for carpool duty etc. My new transportation was again affirming that life changes, as my jeep sat dormant on my front land.
In September, the month of change for me as it is my birthday month, I was hearing inklings of my lovely house needing to be sold or go into foreclosure. Eek! Again? I had just gone through this in the previous house! "well..." the landlord said, " you could buy it ." And so I attempted to do something I was ill prepared to do, buy my house. So many hoops - the economy was changing - there was a presidential election coming up - the housing market and loan corporations dropping! But, I did NOT want to move again. I so much did not want to move, that I was willing to buy the house I was in, just to NOT MOVE. Plus, I loved my house. Meanwhile, I was invited to Bali over Christmas break and I was praying for a miracle.
The Buddha said, " attachment is the cause of all suffering " and really it is true. I was in this strange place of asking myself ' do I just let it go or do my best to make it happen?" Life does get confusing sometimes and there is a fine line between letting go and allowing and doing ones best to make things happen. You'll be pleased to know that I am my own guinea pig, IE. testing everything out on myself and practicing what I preach,to create the best life possible for myself. Still, it is a fine balance, knowing when to let go or hold on. Truthfully though, they are two sides of the same coin.
More change was coming, and I was slowly realizing that my little grace, bliss period of Nirvana Sedona was about to change form - again. On my daughter's birthday, December 4th, I found out my Mom's colon cancer had returned. It is challenging to talk about as the situation is still taking place and I cannot state an outcome to something that has not happened yet. Suffice to say, with the house situation, Bali upcoming, and my mother getting ready to face her life transition, all signs were pointing to movement, not rest. Strange, because winter was approaching. Isn't that time to hibernate?
Oh. and I almost forgot - the election! That was a whole lot of movement. A complete possibility of the changing of the guard. I think everybody was feeling that transition. Huge!
On December 22nd, I went to Bali with friends to celebrate the birthday and book blessing of my accountant and his family. It was an amazing journey and I was so happy to be in another land. Bali is such a place of shadows and light and ritual and magic and beauty - as one long time resident said, " the Balinese people have a smile for every emotion." Ceremony is practiced every day, every where. In my time away, though rich and fulfilling, I kept having this feeling that I was going to be returning to a lot, when I went back home.
In January 2009, I did come home to a lot. The lovely house I was living in soon went into foreclosure and threats of impending bank auctions and being given 24 hours notice to move, looming over my head were enough to decide, it is time to let go and search elsewhere. Once again, I had real estate people treading through my home showing it to their clients to try to impulse them with attractive "short sale" lures. Really annoying. I searched for other homes that I might love as much as my current one. I looked on Craigs List and the local paper and put adds on local e-mail networking sites. I couldn't see my next step. I was too attached to what I had. Lesson to the wise: know when to let go. If all signs are saying " let go" then it really is time too. The new can't always come in, if one is still full of the old.
Finally, after almost two months, ( exhaustion is another way to let go) my daughter, being the intuitive that she is, told me to just drive around Sedona, seeing what houses might have rental signs. I was tired, didn't want to do it, but reluctantly agreed. This is how we found our next house. It was completely different in that it was a quad-level with huge cathedral ceilings, a loft and at the base of this huge amazing rock called - Castle Rock. As we walked around the property, my daughter said, " wouldn't it be great if the back door was open?" And it was.
The house was empty and we walked through. My daughter and I both got tingly, which is usually a sign that there is something to pay attention too. Where our other house was calm and peaceful, this one was alive and dynamic and energizing. I learned later, that it was the Universe's way of saying, " ok time to get out of your comfort zone. You are healed enough. Now it is time for action."
For the next several days, I pondered this house. I felt like it was some kind of portal. I kept having images of space beings, and yeti, and fairies and then strange looking creatures. I learned later from the UFO people in Sedona, ( there are a lot of them) that Castle Rock is a portal and has had many space ship sightings over the rock.
Finally, after several daily ponder periods, I came back to the house and walked through by myself. I made an announcement that if I was going to live here, I needed boundaries to be respected and I would in turn offer myself as caretaker of the land and home here. I said a prayer and made a sacred circle in the master bedroom signifying what was allowed to be inside my space and this home, and what could only come in by invitation only. I left and went to my old house. I had no more strange images and soon felt at peace knowing that this house was to be our next.
By April 1st we moved. We are now in our new home and loving the energy. The land is amazing here and I feel so much creativity and productivity. I really am intending to stay here at least two years. My Mom is not doing well, so I barely am moved in and traveling back and forth between Sedona and Phoenix and have had hardly any time to enjoy my new surroundings. But I am able to have some quality time with my mother, which is good and a necessary healing. All is as is meant to be.... in my Universe.
To be continued...
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